Apple has replied that this is a known issue with Xcode 7.3 and Bitcode. So, I disabled including Bitcode uploading with the binary and it successfully processed!:
You do not need to disable it for the entire project, but it works that way too (tested with both project Bitcode enabled/disabled with Bitcode upload inclusion disabled).
Edit: Builds as of 4/7/16 are now successfully uploading and processing with Bitcode.