Pick yourself up a copy of Martin Fowler’s Refactoring. It has some good advice on ways to break down your refactoring problem. About 75% of the book is little cookbook-style refactoring steps you can do. It also advocates automated unit tests that you can run after each step to prove your code still works.
As for a place to start, I would sit down and draw out a high-level architecture of your program. You don’t have to get fancy with detailed UML models, but some basic UML is not a bad idea. You need a big picture idea of how the major pieces fit together so you can visually see where your decoupling is going to happen. Just a page or two of some basic block diagrams will help with the overwhelming feeling you have right now.
Without some sort of high level spec or design, you just risk getting lost again and ending up with another unmaintainable mess.
If you need to start from scratch, remember that you never truly start from scratch. You have some code and the knowledge you gained from your first time. But sometimes it does help to start with a blank project and pull things in as you go, rather than put out fires in a messy code base. Just remember not to completely throw out the old, use it for its good parts and pull them in as you go.