For automatic restarts and load-balancing, I’d suggest you check out Learnboost’s up balancer.
It allows you to reload a worker behind the load-balancer without dropping any requests. It stops directing new requests towards the worker, but for existing requests that are already being served, it provides workerTimeout grace period to wait for requests to finish before truly shutting down the process.
You might adapt this strategy to be also triggered by the uncaughtException event.