One thing to realise is that the Erlang concurrency model does NOT really specify that the data in messages must be copied between processes, it states that sending messages is the only way to communicate and that there is no shared state. As all data is immutable, which is fundamental, then an implementation may very well not copy the data but just send a reference to it. Or may use a combination of both methods. As always, there is no best solution and there are trade-offs to be made when choosing how to do it.
The BEAM uses copying, except for large binaries where it sends a reference.