TLDR: You should use findOneAndDelete() unless you have a good reason not to.
Longer answer:
From the Mongoose documentation of findOneAndDelete:
This function differs slightly from Model.findOneAndRemove() in that findOneAndRemove() becomes a MongoDB findAndModify() command, as opposed to a findOneAndDelete() command. For most mongoose use cases, this distinction is purely pedantic. You should use findOneAndDelete() unless you have a good reason not to.
Mongoose Docs findOneAndDelete